Nine Health Foods That Aren’t and Never Were

I came across a bizarre article on msn.com entitled “Nine Health Foods That Aren’t.” The foods? Bran muffin, chicken Caesar salad, tuna melt, chicken wrap, turkey burger, fruit smoothies, granola bar, pasta salad, and yogurt with fruit on the bottom.

The original health foods — foods formulated and sold to promote health — were corn flakes and graham crackers. A century later, they can barely be called food, let alone healthy. Bran, granola, and unsweetened yogurt are all health foods, but bran muffins, supermarket granola bars, and fruit on the bottom yogurt are the cornflakes of our generation. Perhaps a bran muffin made with whole-wheat flour and a minimum of honey for sweetening could be considered a health food, but the great tasting ones sold in coffee shops, bakeries, and grocery stores never were. Perhaps even a granola bar at one time was a health food, but supermarket granola bars are one step away from being candy. The same can be said of yogurt — especially the kinds without active probiotics.

But chicken Caesar salad, chicken wrap, turkey burgers, and pasta salads were never health foods. And tuna melts? Are those even food? (Didn’t you see the movie Three to Tango?)

If the article had been entitled “Nine Foods You Think Are Good for You but Aren’t,” I would have had no objection. But I know health foods. And these never were.